My bookshelf is not that too empty. A cockroach can still play on its corners and I can also fill-in scratch papers to hold as book ends and appear a stuffed one.
Ideally, I could have filled all the spaces with all the books that I have read. Not a millions of them but manageable to cover the makeshift corners. Where have all my books gone, anyway? The way I count them now, 1, 2, 3….20. Twenty books? I thought I have read thousands, joke!
If I compare my years of reading and books read with the current trend I could say that I have failed to meet the ideal quantity and quality. I assume this because those of my same age have been so confident, articulate and knowledgeable of mastering things. I think this is attributed more than the experience of listening but the power of rapid and extensive reading which skills are my goals at the moment. I have realized that the fastest you read the more you know and learn things. The fastest you know the more you can share and the more people you have shared the expanded influence you can build on. But what reading and thoughts to share are dependent of your choice. I would like to point out that reading explored and mastered can result a good deal of difference.
Rapid and extensive reading may pile up ideas and books. As I try to master them, I think I will be needing a more spacious bookshelf where I can fit in a gradual pattern of 3 books a month, then 5 books a week and the most coolest is 1 book per minute faster than any xerox machine in the world. Crazy as it may, I want to meet that goal. I want to have great deal of knowledge and hopefully before I die, I have influenced a lot of people to wise thoughts that I have known and applied clearly referring to Goethe’s saying, “Truly wise thoughts . . . to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience.”
I have bought “The Choice” of Og Mandino a while ago. One of my many reads hopefully for two days. This book will be one of the millions that will wreck my book shelf and make others nod for enlightenment. But this will depend with the way I read them in my life.
Where have all my books gone? I am about to find them.
For almost 4 years, the slumber of my fatty shape has been broken from a protest to take a new form. The public’s mocking eye always point at my humpty-dumpty tummy rather than my face engrossed with much interest to talk. It has been a doubting drill to think that upon hearing a verdict of flabbiness I lost interest of confirming that I am now slim and lightweight after skipping a meal or two for two consecutive days.
Daily preoccupations have not been generous to me to extract sweats and tone sheets of potential energies. Working out after 8 hours stretch has been a foreign idea before knowing that to develop a formal exercise routine requires a character of Slimmers World, Gold’s Gym and Fitness First. But due to inability to fund one, the pride of wearing a new form outlines a new challenge and perspective. So I struggled to convince myself each day to make a step forward. One step at a time. But needless to say, doubts, temptations and comfort zones corrode the air of fluidity and the willpower succumbs to fear and nothing more. These are cholesterols of trying to box possibilities of success, change and adventurism to life. It is during this time that I thought “Why should I give up then when something can be done if I just want to?” My body deeply depends on me and my mind shares the same unity that a decision to try and change is more powerful than doing nothing.
Now, I am back in the course of getting fit again. Thanks to the conscious-to-wellness-authorities who have structured a gym in our office facilitating the ease of cost, time and effort. For the record, I have spent 4 days of swinging, running and lifting the hope of shaking the fats that have comforted and dragged me for a long time. Treat it a premature and funny effort, but it is a milestone for me for braving the decision to make a change and experiment.
I do not know if after a month I will still be having the same passion and chance. But for now, I am looking forward for the years of sustaining a prized attitude symbolizing the paradox of trying.
It has been a long time since this e-wall is a spreadsheet of flowing ideas. Seeing it again surfaces an empty sheet of dwarfed passion, surrendered venture and forgotten hope.
Tabula rasa. Nothing.
What happen now is more than revisiting, editing grammatical errors and facing the reality of hoping-to-write-something-from-restrained inspiration. Starting today, a brave plunge to a new commitment is nailed. I now profess to revive what has lagged behind the mind of a contemporary elementary pupil, to give water to a nomad spirit in search of learning curves and to discipline the cravings of a foolish child yearning for mastery.
Today is July 22, 2010. From this day forward, I will create more of me.
He is identified as my friendly navigator. He lets me cross and travel the expanse of space and time. His remarkable flexibility pace-off the challenging influence of nature as it contends and affirms its nature and purpose. Sometimes in an intense friction he would erupt and bade mercy for a rest. Sometimes his physicality would be tainted and a thorough cleaning would be demanded. These are just expression of his vulnerabilities as an object. It is inevitable that though I desire to travel for eternity, I would be faced with this fact that anything created from a human hand is corruptible and bound of limitations.
Indeed, he is imperfect and I either. This point has bound us together from cradle to the grave. I would be different to a certain degree but my perception for his being is a symbolic manifestation of my life.
I know I have not traveled enough to really assert the purpose of my being but a step at a time, in the midst of life challenges, would gradually enlighten my vague existence.
It has been made as swift decision yet a worthwhile one.
Ever since we have declared a special bond, February was just an exchange of sweet greetings and simple hours of mall gazing. A week before 14, I have spent a lot of time figuring out a cost-effective strategy however, to no avail. I hardly find to make a date of something FELT. Something with VARIATION. Something with SPICE and a little bit of ROMANCE. Something MEMORABLE.
Out of the blue, Ate Janice advised for an irresistible Valentine menu and without hesitation, I definitely said Yes!
From the hustles and bustles of Manila, we went to Tarlac for the idea and have a family monthly visit as well. We have spent the rest of the day sweet talking and filling our stomachs with deliciously home-cooked stuffs. Province has never tasted like this before. Yummy!!!
In the absence of my brother-in-law, Mama accompanied Ate Janice. Set for travel, we drove two hours to the venue. Upon arrival, lights as fireflies escorted us to a romantic paradise never FELT before. Live acoustic songs from a far VARIATED the line of our emotions to be in the mood for love. And when we have taken our seats the ambiance seemed to be serene and all you could think of was peace. Nobody dared to join us for the night because all of them will flock the next day. Thank God the area has been exclusively made special for us.
The food has added SPICES to our fine dining.
(crab soup,beefsteak with mashed potato, vegetable salad,mango juice and crispy crepe)
Over-all setup ROMANCED the nerves of sweet huddles.
And as a surprise, we have been starstrucked!!!.
(With cast of Trip na Trip: Catherine De Castro and Ex-PBB Housemates Kian and Jason)
Indeed, the night has been full of surprises. We were just fascinated how it ended.
Tomorrow will take the time of everyone to do the planned rituals and unwrap budding sweetness.
But for us, we have taken it in advance and happy to say it has been quite MEMORABLE the night before Heart`s Day.
Days from now the town will be painted in bloody red. Candle lights will be used to brighten cold hearts. Romantic melodies will dance the souls of lovers transcending the ordinary. Sweetest smiles and most soothing hugs will be felt to make the day extremely special.
What can I say its Valentine’s day, everyone seems to be wildly feasting the beauty of oneness. It is the time when the face of the earth turned upside down. It rocks everyone to be hopelessly romantic and unleashes weirdo antics. It makes everyone saints with the all goodness to share and scientist to take risk and experiment.
I know we are just one of them. Red pigments of the whole canvass. Flicker of light in the fire of emotions. Lyrics of a lovely music caressing deaf ears of indifference. Sexy and soulful reflexes of a beating heart alive for a single reason - LOVE.
May this same reason bind us in all the days of our life. May this special day become a lasting one. May this beating heart never stops Even lost of reason to fight
Looking at my depreciated phone, I am drifted to a memorable account that defied the regular order of things. It is one of those anticipated days that have convinced me of one thing, “a day as a complex reality can be reduced to few essentials.”
As my eyes welcomed the morning, I felt the excitement of adding a lovely day to a deeper understanding of love. A two year affair mirrored a tug between love and hate, a harmony of sweetness and a sharing of ups and downs. It is fast-paced while slowly savoring the meaning of being together each day.
Just like any ordinary monthsary, a typical date in a passing mall will be a given rendezvous. For this day, I decided setting up a dining in a classy Shangri-La to upgrade previous expressions of frugality. I fetched her at Makati bound to Ortigas to situate a romantic mood. To unload her of any stressor, I carried her bag adding more weight to my tired muscles. While waiting for the train, I felt a numbing presence of her. An isolated and sacred communion amidst a noisy and busy crowd immersed with chemistry. As the train stopped to series of stations, I could see a serene facade and a glow of hunger on us waiting to devour a delicious dinner.
The train halted at Shaw station. Rushing with pool of individuals, we were able to exit and about to enter the mall. Inside the revolving door we were stopped in the middle. For unknown reason I felt a surge of anxiety not knowing what it was. But moving fifty steps forward, I felt my empty shoulder bag lightened and in probing so the N76 was nowhere to be found. I forced a shift turnaround but failed to see any traces of the detractors. My phone is taken on the should-be lovely day.
Amidst shocked condition, we continued the expected. We ate our meal while repeatedly sharing details of the abrupt incident. What so funny though, was that the felony has added color to our special day. It was a challenging episode that turned to be like feasting on other people’s experience without minding the victims inside. We laughed at our own ignorance setting aside the cost of what was lost and cherish the undisturbed spirit uniting us. We finished with smiles on our faces and have wholeheartedly welcomed a new Samsung unit in our midst(low-tech though can help wake me up in the morning..hehe).
Indeed, there are situations in our life that come by surprise and prove our deprived control of everything. I know we are limited in so many ways but with these limitations come the possibilities of exploring the power of controlling the self. It is not the situations that control us but the power within that really defines the situation.
Our day has just been filled with many events. Indeed, it has been a memorable day to remember because it was one of those days that I have seen the few essentials of realities. And in doing so, I have found them within.
Breaking a strand of hair is not as easy as curling it. Breaking a bone is not as easy as mending it. Finding an enemy is so easy than belong to a friend. Living a life is so difficult than to end it. Why is it seemed so tough to change something so easy to do? Why is it so difficult to turn things back or let them be? The reality is true and yet we can only be amazed at how things are orchestrated. We can be a hero or a victim for that matter. We can be forever lonely, jubilant and changing only if we want to.
These are accounts of breaking free from rules, formulas, conventional, ordinariness, and the clutches of dividing human emotions. It is a navigation to find new domains imbued with simple yet freeing stories kept to define a new way of breaking free.